Coming Out

Life is hard when you're in the closet. I wrote this just after coming out day but didn't want to post everything at once and then have a rapid schedule. I'm not very creative, so it'd be way too hard to keep up with that much to write. That's mostly due to living in the closet, I have no imagination outside "well what if I do this to try and stop dysphoria." and "maybe if I do this, I'll actually look like I can pass!" so it's hard to do anything creative anymore.

So, after feeling like this it's time to come out of the closet.What's the best way? Slowly. You should start with best friends, close people who you feel would accept and support you. You'll need their support if anything goes wrong, which with how the world is might be a few times. Next I'd go for family, they're probably going to be the roughest. They can make your life way easier or absolute hell depending on how dependent you are. Optional are old friends and acquaintances you only deal with sometimes, they'll be easy because if it goes bad who cares, yeah maybe you had some good times way back when but they just said you're a gross monster so like just shrug emoji and you're out. They don't want to be a part of your life that's their deal.

When you're out though, it doesn't end. You'll be coming out to new people, and once it's common knowledge in your friend group they'll just let someone know beforehand, which if you don't like you'll have to talk to them all before it becomes a thing. (I'd personally like to not have to come out, it's actually like the most anxiety inducing thing. But I can understand that maybe you don't want people to just be like "yo they're trans and/or gay/bi" before meeting you.) Obviously when you're out though it's super easy to pick out friends, the ones that went "I'm here for you, and you can talk any time!" are going to be way more helpful than anyone that went "oh, okay." and anyone who decided to insult who you can be dropped like a fucking rock.

You can also go stealth but be aware this can go south quick. Everyone has to be on the same page and you have to make sure that none of the people are going to get too chatty, since curiosity makes people try and find outside sources. It's hard to keep on lockdown, since as soon as one person knows it is out of your control. You have to make sure EVERYONE is on the same page at step one.

Depression is a huge part for most closeted people too, and this can effect family life. You can go to fully functioning normal adult to unable to leave bed for ten minutes in the span of a week. For people who have never dealt with depression, this can just seem like you're a "lazy fuck" which just makes you resent whoever said it. You're not going to get any better by hating these people, so just forget about them, and if learning you were depressed the whole time from someone else while you get better and it eats them alive that's on them. Lying while probably unhealthy and slightly wrong, is going to be your best friend for dealing with people like this. Yeah you left the house today, and if you can't lie then walk outside and turn right back in. It counts.

#Depression #MentalHealth #LGBT #trans #transgender