Outside My Own Head

This November has quickly gotten out of hand, what I expected to be the hardest month of fighting has turned into the hardest month of just suffering. I thought I'd have to fight for the ability to even get into any clinics and possibly the tide of it getting out. I haven't had to do either and the only thing I've been fighting is myself. I've disassociated so hard recently that earlier in the week I forgot where I was while on a walk. I constantly forget what people just told me and just kind of guess to try and fill in the gaps and hope it works out.

I don't know where I am but it's not here.

It's hard to talk about while it just seems to get worse. I just feel like I need to talk about it somewhere. I feel so alone.